5 May 2002
Another Sunday and it's
back from another fortnight out on the tiles. It's hot...
so hot, that my paws burn and my whiskers get singed when
I walk those tiles. But there's dark deeds going on out
there and when the mice are at play, this Cat can't be away.
So hell fires notwithstanding, I will walk the Walk and
talk the Talk.
Mojya mogall bhavanno
ani bhoinnyano... As every politician aspiring for the
fishes and loaves of public office starts off his or her
spiel, so will this buclo. It's the flavour of the
season. So read on.
D-VIDE
OVER D-FECTORS
It would not be out of place
to call the Congress in Goa the D-Company, so full of D-fectors
is the party. And, rightly, the biggest debate going on
right now in the Congress is, are the defectors going to
get tickets or not?
Now, Tomcat can't give you
a yes or no answer to that question. For, there are as many
saying "Aye" on the (First) Floor of the (Congress) House
as "Noe". A little ferry bird told Tomcat that while Congress
President Nirmala Sawant is in favour of giving tickets
to the defectors, former Leader of the Opposition Luizinho
Faleiro wants them out.
But, wait a minute! In case
you think the Nabob of Navelim is taking a 'principled'
stand about this, think again. For, the only principle Luizinho
knows about is the one that yields interest, in hard cash.
He wants the defectors out for one reason and one reason
only. And that is because all his 'principal' rivals for
the post of chief minister are defectors. And, he thinks,
if he can get the 'D's' out of the way, he can 'C' himself
going all the way to the CM's Chamber.
THE
MUSLIM 'MENACE'
Don't go by the heading
above. What Tomcat is driving at is the fact that the events
in Gujarat and PM Atal Bihari Vajpayee's tough talking at
Campal may have created a huge headache for at least two
of the BJP's 'sure-shot-success' candidates in the coming
election.
All of us know that there
is a sizeable Muslim vote in Mormugao, where Haji Shaikh
Hassan is trying hard to become the Sikandar Bakht (token
Muslim leader) of Goa. We also know that this time, Hassan
might well lose his Sheikhdom...
But do we know that Margao's
Digambar Kamat and Ponda's Ravi Naik, both BJP stalwarts,
are also in peril and, what is more, for the same reason?
It turns out that Ponda
constituency has 6500 Muslim votes, while Margao has over
4500. Earlier, Margao's Muslims were among Digambar's strongest
supporters while Ponda's Muslims all stood solidly by Ravi,
notwithstanding their party affiliation. But now, all that
may change...
No wonder both Digambar
and Ravi are both deeply worried men. For, even if they
manage, by superhuman effort, to retain the personal loyalty
of as many as one-third of the Muslim voters in their respective
constituencies, the loss of votes is still big enough to
turn the tables on what the BJP considered two of its only
four 'sure' seats.
And, after the Gujarat mayhem
and the PM's Goa declaration, no Muslim in his or her right
mind would (let me rephrase that and make it 'should') ever
vote for the BJP.
THE
THREE STOOGES
It's ticket time, and all
ambitious aspirants are agog. Who will get to that vital
ticket to ride and who won't? The political roller coaster
which can give you the ride of a lifetime beckons and everybody
who is anybody in politics is dying for a chance to get
aboard.
We all know that a lot of
the BJP's neo-converts who joined the party to feast on
the loaves and fishes of power, will not get tickets to
contest the coming polls. But how many of us know that to
justify this large-scale exclusion, the BJP is also planning
to sacrifice some of its very own? It plans to throw these
gentlemen to the lions (for that is where they will probably
go; to the MGP) to 'prove' that they are being 'fair and
unbiased'.
There are three 'original'
stooges from the BJP who are not going to get that vital
ticket. The reason? For two, it's as simple as ABC; A for
Apathy, B for Bungling and C for Corruption. For the third,
it's pure and plain politics.
Turns out, former Mayem
MLA and present Town Planning Minister Prakash Phadte and
Sanguem MLA Prabhakar Gaonkar will not get tickets. It seems
both of them are extremely fond of crisp rectangular pieces
of paper which have Mahatma Gandhi's photo on them and spend
most of their time collecting bundles of these rather than
doing their work. Their love for the Mahatma's graven image
has earned them CM Manohar Parrikar's stern disapproval;
he has issued a fatwa and they will have to pay the
penultimate political price.
But the third gentleman
facing the electoral axe is former Curchorem MLA and present
Arts & Culture Minister Ramrao Desai, who has nursed
his constituency well and whose performance cannot be termed
'grossly unsatisfactory'. Well, Ramrao as you know, is the
brother-in-law of Panaji Municipal Councillor Yatin Parekh,
who recently announced that he was never a member of the
BJP and that he would support the Congress in the coming
poll. And, we all know that the former Panaji MLA (and present
Chief Minister) is Manohar Parrikar.
Manohar-bab, it appears,
does not take kindly to supporters who go astray. Little
wonder that the young Parekh recently faced an income tax
raid. Lesser wonder that the in-law is about to become an
outlaw. Least wonder that the BJP is looking set to lose
the Curchorem seat to old Congress warhorse Domnic Fernandes.
WILLY-NILLY,
OR SILLY?
All of us, or at least those
that read newspapers everyday, will know that the venerable
Dr Wilfred de Souza, better known to you and me as Dotor
Willy, has called for a grand alliance of his Nationalist
Congress Party with its foreigner-led and, presumably, not-so-patriotic
parent party, the Congress. This is a gesture that every
secular (or, as Manohar Parrikar's BJP would call him, pseudo-secular)
citizen would applaud. But there's more to the good dotor's
gesture than mere anti-communalism.
You see, Dotor Willy
win polls not merely by getting votes for himself, but by
dividing the votes of his opponents. Last time, he managed
to secure the services of one Dilip Kalangutkar, then of
the Shiv Sena, and of his arch-rival Srikant Mullik, to
split the votes of his Congress rival and emerge triumphant.
But this time, dear Dilip
is likely to get the BJP ticket and since his close-comrade-in-arms,
the silver-maned lion Ramakant Khalap, has left his lair
to become a shivrak lotus eater, the MGP led by the
fire-breathing Shashikala Tai Kakodkar, is very,
very unlikely to oblige the dotor by putting up a
losing candidate to split his opponent's votes.
With his former Sancho Panza
(also a former BJP leader) Trojan Horse D'Mello angling
for the Congress ticket in Saligao, the dotor is
in dire straits as the Guirim goon can get his goat; he
knows all of Willy's wiles.
If you can't beat 'em, goes
the old saying of the political jungle, join 'em. And that's
what the dotor is doing. Hell, if Goa's greatest
surgeon can't join what he himself cut a few years ago,
then who can...?
TEMPLE
OF EARNING
Former Bicholim MGP MLA
and former minister Pandurang Raut, was recently
unceremoniously dropped from the cabinet, because he refused
to join the BJP.
But then, Raut has been
in the BJP before. In fact, he contested in 1998 as the
BJP North Goa MP candidate against the then Congress candidate
Ramakant Khalap and lost only by a few thousand votes. Now,
Khalap is in the BJP and Raut out, but that is another story...
The tale I am about to tell you just now is why Raut preferred
to leave his ministership rather than join the BJP.
Says our Pandurang, the
BJP is like a temple. It is pavitra or pure to look
at. But, as we all know, however pure a temple looks from
the outside, everything depends on the character of the
high priest inside. That, however, is not Raut's complaint.
Rather, it is the structure itself. As Raut says, the BJP-temple
which he inhabited has a Sabha Mandap or outer enclosure,
where everybody is allowed. But, says he, only some are
allowed into the Chowk, or the inner enclosure. Presumably,
he was among the fortunate few. And, says the Bahujan
Samaj leader of Bicholim's Maratha community, only the
infinitesimally few twice-born's are given entry into the
BJP's Garbha Griha or sanctum sanctorum. And, since
he was not among them, he chose to worship from afar...
THE
DEPUTY DOCTRINE
It used to be said of Goa's
politicians that every sarpanch wanted to be an MLA, every
MLA wanted to be a minister and every minister wanted to
be the chief minister. Now, things have changed. While every
sarpanch still wants to be an MLA and every MLA still wants
to be a minister, every minister does not want to be CM!
Shocked? Surprised? Don't
be.
Now, every minister wants
to be the Deputy Chief Minister.
The reasoning is simple.
As CM, you have to keep a majority going, and therefore
get pressurised, if not blackmailed, by every minister and
MLA. But you still have to grin and be happy even though
you are actually breaking your back keeping them happy.
As Dy CM, you get the pick
of portfolios, don't have to bother about ministers' or
MLAs' demands and can fully concentrate on really important
tasks like making money.
More important, if things
go wrong, you can always get a group together, topple the
government, and set up another, where you continue to be
Dy CM and enjoy life, while some other poor dumb bloke develops
ulcers trying to balance a majority.
A CM, on the other hand,
apart from all his other worries, can never defect from
or topple his own government.
Don't believe me? Ask Ravi
Naik...
NEW
TAI-UP
Tomcat was never very good
at learning the Three 'R's -- reading, writing and 'rithmetic.
But neither are our politicians. What makes all the difference
between us, though, is that while they are masters at playing
the numbers game, us mortals merely look on.
With Goa consigned (Should
that read 'condemned'?) almost certainly to getting a hung
assembly in these coming elections, politicians are already
tying up possible alliances well in advance. Some
more enterprising types are even creating multiple baskets
to put their eggs in. Now that you know I can spell, let
me get down to the hard facts.
One such arrangement, Tomcat
hears, is the Tai-up between the lioness Shashikala
Tai Kakodkar and the BJP's neo-convert Dy CM Ravi
Naik, whom we encountered earlier in this column. Well,
Ravi-bab apparently has an arrangement worked out
with Tai that if the numbers are conducive, after
the election, he can stage a grand homecoming, install her
as chief minister with, and this goes without saying, himself
as deputy.
Tai, you must have
noticed, has been behaving as if she is already chief minister.
Well now you know why. But does she know how many other
baskets Ravi's got an egg in?
SALCETE
SORCERY
The United Goans Democratic
Party (UGDP) may be in a mess after it was abandoned by
strongman Churchill Alemao, but it has received a shot in
the arm after the recent merger of the Gomant Lok Pokx (GLP)
into the party.
What's going to give the
combo and even greater fizz is a meeting held a few weeks
ago at Hotel Bismarck in Vasco where, a Brahminy Kite from
Kharvevaddo tells me, the UGDP leaders met with BJP party
boss Laxmikant Parsekar and his saffron sidekicks.
Agreed in the meeting, Tomcat
hears, was an unwritten and even unspoken tie-up. The UGDP
will contest all the Salcete seats where the BJP feels there
is no point putting up candidates against the Congress.
In these seats, the BJP will support the UGDP, not just
with votes, but with material (read money) as well.
Radharao Gracias and Anacleto
Viegas must be magicians, because in return the BJP wants
nothing; not even an assurance that any UGDP MLAs elected
will back the party after the polls. The alliance will definitely
benefit the UGDP in Anacleto's Navelim constituency (over
2000 Hindu votes) and Radharao's Loutolim constituency (around
1500 Hindu votes).
Little surprise that the
very day after a Congress AICC observer talked about a grand
all-party alliance against the BJP, an angry denial was
issued by Anacleto Viegas, who reiterated that his party
has no intention of aligning with the Congress!
TOWER
OF BABBLE
The Congress is now like
a Tower of Babble with different leaders talking in different
tongues, now that the high command has gone back to its
old games.
On the one hand Rane has
been brought into the fold after a long meeting with Madam
Sonia courtesy AICC Goa-in-charge Ramesh Chennithala, and
has demonstrated his loyalty by openly attacking his former
admirer CM Manohar Parrikar (who was taken quite by surprise
with the ferocity of Rane's assault in the public meeting
at Mayem). On the other, GPCC chief Nirmala Sawant has been
sidelined and Luizinho Faleiro has been made head of the
Pradesh Election Committee (PEC), of which she is merely
convenor, or a glorified clerk.
No wonder she's angry and
is now talking about stepping down as GPCC chief and contesting
the polls on the one hand, while pressing for tickets for
defectors (which Chennithala and Luizinho oppose) on the
other.
With all this, will the
party be able to get its act together?
A final twist of the tail:
A press conference of the Campaign
Committee of the Congress, which decides the party's plank
and image for the election was in progress. Journalists
were asking committee head Pratapsingh Rane whether 'loyalty'
or 'winnability' would be the primary criterion for deciding
on the Congress candidates.
While 'winnability' was
important, Rane said, 'loyalty' would be the prime consideration.
No sooner than these words were leaving his lips, committee
convenor and party strongman Churchill Alemao, who was standing
at the side, interjected to say that 'winnability' was more
important... While Rane sheepishly clarified, the journalists
had a good laugh. If this is the state of the Congress,
not even God can save Madam Sonia!
Till next fortnight, meeaow...
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